Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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