Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
