New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
