Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
