He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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