last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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