WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
