I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
