Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
