What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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