the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
