Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
