Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
