no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
