i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
