I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I licked your asshole in confidence.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
