YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
