i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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