There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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