your thong is hanging out like whoa
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
