she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
