dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
My ass is underappreciated
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
