i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
