i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
