He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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