Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
