i don't like sucking hair
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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