i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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