it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
