I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
