That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
