Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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