do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
