what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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