it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
they need to just BURY HIM!
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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