She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
