Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
