he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
