When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
