So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
