talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
