i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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