Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
