Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
