i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
