how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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