he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
babies were throwing up all over the place
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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