It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
