He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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