there were more penises there than on chat roulette
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
