mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
