names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
