Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
She bit a glass in half.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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